Shaken or Stirred?

So here I sit thinking about all the things I am getting ready to change, wondering if I am up to the challenge of a huge life shake up, wondering even more if the people around me are ready for the change. My mind is spinning I am trying to figure out if I have bitten off too much or if the time to be authentic has come. I hate this word, authentic; it seems so inauthentic.   Authentic aren’t we all, then again maybe we are not. I am who I always have been, someone recently told me you are great, stop trying to change yourself and just be you. This made me stop and wonder am I trying to change myself or am I growing? 

I have the pleasure to work with children that don’t live with me. I find this rather fascinating.  I see them every week yet every week there is a change that if I lived with them might go unnoticed. There is this one little girl who doesn’t talk a lot but recently she has found her voice. All of the sudden she is able to express her thoughts to those around her. It seems so simple yet it contains magic. A magic that I think as adults we have forgot exists, the ability to find new words to describe us or the things that surround us.

So this is where I am, I am finding new words, I am not changing but rather expanding my vocabulary. The old words no longer work, they are far too simple to explain my thoughts and define who I am. These new words don’t roll off my tongue as easy. Prime example “no”, this word seems to get stuck in my throat and before I know it “yes” slips out of my lips. I am left with my mouth hanging open, wondering who just spoke, shocked to find out that “YES” came out of my mouth, wondering where the “NO” went.

So in the days to come I will be sharing my list of things that are part of this life shake up, and in the months ahead I will let you know if life is better shaken or stirred.